Saturday, February 24, 2007
OK, support crew, here's the deal: one of the best things you can do to prevent me being duct-taped to the wall is to respond to these posts. It makes me feel loved. :) Besides, the simulation constraints on communication (mimicking the delay due to the time it takes for a radio signal to travel to and from Mars) mean that I won't be able to use chat, Skype, or any other real-time ways of talking with you. So, step up, people!!
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27 comments:
Hey Kim,
Sorry I haven't written lately but I've been busy on your behalf. I'm now proud to inform you that after careful negotiations you will be the May cover girl on
"Women & Guns " magazine! (circulation:5462).Better yet is your fee, a half year subscription.
I know your proud but try not to get a big head, OK.
Hope all is well and that your not too smelly.
Working tirelessly on your behalf,
RED
Astonishingly, I've negotiated a 2nd deal! You are now Miss March for the esteemed "Stinky Women of Space!" calendar.
Holla!
Live Blog from the KBC Oscar Party!
Place: Yours
Host: Sarah Rose
Theme: "Non-Glamourous"
Menu:
Pigs in Blankets (SR)
Spam Musubi (Bonnie)
Turkey Divan (JLB)
Green Bean Casserole (BR)
Cheap Wine
We'll be reporting in through the evening to let you know what is happening - right now, believe it or not, both Nicole Kidman and Naomi Watts are wearing questionable gowns!
iris just arrived with Texas hash!
So far, the Mexican movie Pan's Labirynth (don't give me shit for spelling) is winning the costumey/special effect awards.
You also missed s Jack Black musical number featured John C. Reilly - tpoic: how comedians get no respect at the Oscars.
Lora and Randy just arrived with 3 bean salad, chicken wings, and Jack Daniel's.
Holla!
Comment on food:
Sarah: "Who wants these leftovers? No one."
Jen: "The food is glistening at us!"
Alan Arkin just won Best Supporting Actor. He had a nice speech but read it entirely off an index card but never looked up.
Still, good for him.
Randy Newman and James Taylor (ancient dinosaurs) are singing a song from Cars. It is very boring.
And they won't stop singing.
I'm going to have more hot dogs. It can't hurt.
Al Gore just pretended to announce his presidential campaign on the Oscars, but got cut off by the orchestra. It was way funny.
Best Animated Feature: Happy Feet
The Departed just won for Adapted Screenplay.
They have somehow organized the awards this time so it is even MORE boringly ordered than normal. Any minute now they will start giving out humanitarian Oscars.
Category: Best Cinemotography - nominee - "Dick Pfister."
Sarah - "Pfister? I hardly know her!"
7 people have tried to get ice out of your new fridge door.
Suckaz!
This is great! I feel like I'm there, but without the shiny food!
Jennifer Hudson just won Best Supporting Actress. Since the last time we saw her was on American Idol 2 years ago in the most hideous, overdone pink dress, I think we should give a wily Canadian shoutout to the American dream.
For some reason, Jerry Seinfeld is presenting the Best Documentary Film. If you understand why, please post asap.
Al Gore is looking hot!
And he just won an Oscar!
Go, Al, go! Talk about second careers. "Don't worry, sweetheart. If you don't get to be president, you can always become an award-winning film maker."
Melissa Etheridge won an Best Song Oscar and kissed her wife! Iris did not approve and cited the Bible as proof. Possibly in your downtime on Mars, you could research lesbian sex in the Bible?
Death montage. Very sad. Saddest montage of the many, many montages at the Oscars.
Did you know Robert Altman? He's dead, you know.
Best actress goes to.........
Helen Mirren!
Ewww. Lora just used the word "perimenopausal"
Forest Whitaker - holla!
Peter O'Toole was very creepy in his clip. "Pleasure, it's all I recommend." Which sounds good, but he made it sound like the kind of porn you have to buy from pimply faced 40 somethings from under the counter.
Forest is kicking all sorts of ass with his speech. He got no snarky comments from this room, which is a tough thing.
Best Director - Martin Scorcese.
Gigantic stading ovation - Iris say is was good, but not great, even though the Rockette quotio was low.
P.S. Sarah (and Jen) do not watch lowlife/mob films, so we aren't entirely invested in this win.
The Departed also is Best Picture. Very boring.
No is mustering up any snark, outrage, or interest. Hopefully life on MARS! is more interesting.
Barbara Wawa had had so much Botox that her cheeks are no longer moving. Too bad she can still talk.
She is inteviewing Ellen DeGeneres, who was the Oscar host (kind of boring - interview and person)
p.S. Sarah is the bomb re: upholstery.
We have dissolved into to trash talk and name calling about Iris, who is NOT a Rockette.
Miss you Kimmo.
Love you guys. Thanks for the blog party. Did any wine get spilled on the new upholstery? Is anyone duct-taped to the fridge?
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